So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
