Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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