she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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