the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
