I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize