i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize