Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
