This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize