Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
