I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize