tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
my shit smells like andre
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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