Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
