Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
