Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
