Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
