Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
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she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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