so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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