STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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