Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
