I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my being single is dangerous.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
