I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...