if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
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Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?