I seem to have left my pride at pride
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
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