ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
