The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
