You're completely useless in the revolution.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
