I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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