i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
