you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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