so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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