I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
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I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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