love makes seman taste better
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
