I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
