I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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