i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize