i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
