im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
