Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
