I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.