Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (641) Bad night (2554)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT

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  (443): My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT http://tfl.nu/f0p2
  Replies (20) Good night (5288) Bad night (1022)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.

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  (520): But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions. http://tfl.nu/p23c
  Replies (35) Good night (5754) Bad night (653)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?

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  (260): i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really? http://tfl.nu/3wbc
  Replies (22) Good night (722) Bad night (5835)
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  (562): View more from California

  she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.

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  (562): she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight. http://tfl.nu/mepj
  Replies (14) Good night (1041) Bad night (3850)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  you mean i was at the winter classic?

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  (617): you mean i was at the winter classic? http://tfl.nu/ck5g
  Replies (39) Good night (5336) Bad night (728)
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.

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  (660): i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again. http://tfl.nu/1pik
  Replies (17) Good night (798) Bad night (4365)
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  (707): View more from California

  You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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  (707): You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant. http://tfl.nu/2b7s
  Replies (6) Good night (4212) Bad night (1170)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor

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  (906): he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor http://tfl.nu/agbs
  Replies (4) Good night (2990) Bad night (949)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs

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  (615): You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs http://tfl.nu/j07e
  Replies (1) Good night (1431) Bad night (493)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte

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  (845): I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte http://tfl.nu/yyhp
  Replies (3) Good night (1199) Bad night (624)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble

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  (301): And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble http://tfl.nu/0x8g
  Replies (7) Good night (2354) Bad night (544)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.

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  (978): If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room. http://tfl.nu/2jpn
  Replies (4) Good night (608) Bad night (658)
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  (415): View more from California

  My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.

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  (415): My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me. http://tfl.nu/kvah
  Replies (7) Good night (818) Bad night (377)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck

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  (770): Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck http://tfl.nu/dtrp
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (237)

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