hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
