So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
