Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
