Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
