i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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