If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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