everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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