he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Let the clothes fall where they may.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
