just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think my moral compass just broke
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
