we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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