i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
