Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize