So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
