I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
