so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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