We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
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who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
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You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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