the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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