i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
