make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
