I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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