he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
