the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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