thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I currently don't understand fingers.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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