I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
