I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
