Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
