are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We are all done wearing pants today
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
